The Future.

Basically to keep from freaking out from what's going to happen in the next five minutes, five days, five months, five years is to have a plan and act on it. My plan is... nonexistent and that makes me want to freak out and push everything away. Essentially all I want to do is run away from everything right now I just want to not think about anything. I don't want to think about the past, the present, nor the future because it's just going to make me go crazy. I want to lie on the grass and stare at the clouds and just embrace the nothingness of the sky. I hate how easily I can drive myself from completely content and rather joyful with my life to being ashamed and torn apart by it. Things have been going crazy outside of my little bubble I call my daily routine and it's time for me to pop my bubble and see reality!!

1. I miss you so much. I regret that we never made time to go around and see you and to just spend time with you. Whenever we would I would always get scared of what might happen that I couldn't say anything because fear overwhelmed me. But all I want you to know now is that I love you.
2. I know you miss him so much more than the rest of us. I know you're lonely so I promise to visit more often and keep you company. I love you.
3. I don't know what happened that night, but I do know that it changed everything forever. We all need a talk to set this straight cause the situation now is not good.
4. I hate that i can't read you like I could before. It's like suddenly this cloud serves as my glasses and well, let's just say that I can't see a thing anymore. But I do know that it can't be like this cause its not going to work.
5. You're a little, a lot, self-involved. We get it you think you're hot , a bunch of guys think you're hot, and are trying to get at you. Just shut the hell up before someone bursts! And one more thing stop getting at everyone without boobs and a decent face.
6. You're right we have drifted a part in the last few weeks. I've been so preoccupied with crap that it's ridiculous. But things are going to be different I promise!
7. You guys are a little more ... crazy than I thought! I thought my stories were ridiculous, but yours beat mine by a long shot. We have to go do some things sometime. ha!
8. I'm sick of hearing "I'm over it I'm over it. That's not my scene" That stuff was practically invented for you!