Battle

Lately, every single day has been a long, tedious one. Everything is dragged on and on. And every day I look forward to the light at the end of the tunnel that's you. You were the one thing that made everything better. You washed away all my stress. You let me forget about all of my problems. But, now that we're stuck between this rock and a hard place, I see that I just expected too much. I wanted you to save me from my life. And you did, or so I had thought. Maybe I'm crazy and maybe I don't make any sense. But you have your own problems too. I just don't know if I can fight this battle anymore.

Waiting

I hate waiting and waiting and waiting especially when I find out I'm waiting for nothing! It's pretty annoying if you ask me especially when it happens all the time. My patience is tic tocking away.

guilty as charged

It seems like I'm going through puberty and onto the next steps of becoming a man, but really I'm just sick-_- lamee. My immune system is just going crazy this year I hate it. I can't wait till I get better. Formal was Saturday lots of funn:)) Pinks afterwards long line but super worth it. Then got home and literally just knocked out. Things have been  pretty unusual for me I can hardly believe it's my life. But I mean it's good. The only thing is the guilt that's tearing at my conscience a little bit. I can't seem to get myself to just say the truth, but the only thing is that I didn't mean to keep it a secret it just happened and now that we are where we are I need...should tell you just because it's the right thing to do. But I just can't seem to find the right time to say it and I know there really isn't but I can't get the words out of my mouth. And I hate the heart pounding feeling right before I think I might say it because it just shuts me up. So whenever I get the balls to, I hope you don't think I've been lying or purposely keeping it a secret, it's just a hard thing to say and knowing myself, a little awkward too. I don't know my goal is to do it this week before I talk myself into waiting another week.

Cold Days

Rain is not my friend.
I hate when:
my shoes get wet
i can't find socks
my package takes forfuckingever to arrive
i'm in too deep
my heater doesn't give out heat
buying something is the only cure
i call first
i wish i live in a gg episode
people i know become people i knew

I love when:
i'm snuggled inside with a blanket and a movie when it's raining outside
i can check something off my list
there are christmas cartoons on
i eat ice cream in the rain
i sleep early
i get calls
i'm warm

shit changed we all know it. i've been avoiding it and i probably still am because it's hard to accept that we don't...we can't hold a simple conversation without an awkward silence. maybe it'll change, but maybe it'll just be like this. it sucks but thats life i guess

HAHA

I don't want to do my homework and its midnight so i have a feeling I'll be up till 3. Lately I've been addicted to lots of makeup, sushi, and jean leggings. After the discovery of a plastic card that is capable of online purchases, I've been hooked. And today after much youtubing, facebooking, and all that other technological crap there is, I've decided to check all my stuff daily from now on and actually reply to people. Being technologically challenged as I am, I don't know how to upload pictures, so I will be working on that too...
Life has been nothing like it has before recently. Except for my lazy sundays where I stay home and lag on homework, everything's changed. Now i know what it's like to be one of those girls. It's been a long time since I've been one of them, it feels...nice. Now I get why everyone is so crazy for it. But hopefully my positive attitude doesn't kill it all because, for some reason, when I think everything is good something happens and boom its not at all. haha but whatever the cup is half full. ButI'm not saying that's why things have been good. I've finally let myself accept the truth and I'm actually ok. The one down side to everything is that I am in this big dgaf hole with school. It's like I gave up and I just don't care anymore, but I need to. Hopefully after Thanksgiving I get a new jolt of inspiration to keep trying. Well thats it toodle doo