Prioritize

Prioritize, the act of discovering what is important to you and accomplishing those things first. It's often difficult to discover what you're truly passionate about and why you are apart of the things you are a part of, but once you do your life seems to fall in place. Lately, my life has been a shattered mess made up of many other bits and pieces of the past. It's time for me to understand that not everything will just be given to me and for things I truly want, I need to work hard for it. I need to start devoting myself to the things I really like because right now my actions are unacceptable.

You're a piece of work.

I'm so confused and frustrated and so whatever! I've just stopped caring and all I want is spring break to come so I can just sleep for 48 hours straight and then wake up and study for the other 120 hours.
I want:
to chill
to know the future
to be on the same page
to be on top of things
to take control
to click fast forward on life
to do nothing
to stare at the clouds
to worry about nothing
to explode and collect myself
to get my stitches out
to go into a body of water without sticking out my hand
to watch a sunrise
to say out all night
to sleep for hours and hours
to watch all of greek starting from season 1
I don't want:
to study
to be confused
to go to school
to read slob

Late start tomorrow and all I want is coffee!

The Future.

Basically to keep from freaking out from what's going to happen in the next five minutes, five days, five months, five years is to have a plan and act on it. My plan is... nonexistent and that makes me want to freak out and push everything away. Essentially all I want to do is run away from everything right now I just want to not think about anything. I don't want to think about the past, the present, nor the future because it's just going to make me go crazy. I want to lie on the grass and stare at the clouds and just embrace the nothingness of the sky. I hate how easily I can drive myself from completely content and rather joyful with my life to being ashamed and torn apart by it. Things have been going crazy outside of my little bubble I call my daily routine and it's time for me to pop my bubble and see reality!!

1. I miss you so much. I regret that we never made time to go around and see you and to just spend time with you. Whenever we would I would always get scared of what might happen that I couldn't say anything because fear overwhelmed me. But all I want you to know now is that I love you.
2. I know you miss him so much more than the rest of us. I know you're lonely so I promise to visit more often and keep you company. I love you.
3. I don't know what happened that night, but I do know that it changed everything forever. We all need a talk to set this straight cause the situation now is not good.
4. I hate that i can't read you like I could before. It's like suddenly this cloud serves as my glasses and well, let's just say that I can't see a thing anymore. But I do know that it can't be like this cause its not going to work.
5. You're a little, a lot, self-involved. We get it you think you're hot , a bunch of guys think you're hot, and are trying to get at you. Just shut the hell up before someone bursts! And one more thing stop getting at everyone without boobs and a decent face.
6. You're right we have drifted a part in the last few weeks. I've been so preoccupied with crap that it's ridiculous. But things are going to be different I promise!
7. You guys are a little more ... crazy than I thought! I thought my stories were ridiculous, but yours beat mine by a long shot. We have to go do some things sometime. ha!
8. I'm sick of hearing "I'm over it I'm over it. That's not my scene" That stuff was practically invented for you!

Time flies.

When things are out of hand and just too much to handle time seems to pause and focus in to the drama and the emotions that are flying. Time seems to torment us at the worst possible moments and yet time also helps us get over these dreaded memories. When things are fun and perfect, time seems to pass us by without our notice. Time tells us that perfect never lasts and problems will always continue to occur. Bask in whatever time there is now and enjoy every single moment with everyone because you don't know when they'll be gone. I need to stop wasting my time with those people I don't like or pretend to like because it's a waste of my time.

This weekend was nice, I wish it could be like tis every weekend. I had yogurtland for the first time twice. Thanks vincent and senglee! The track meet was whatevers, but I basically missed all of my Euro class. Ate afterwards at Millies and then to come back to see that evrything was gone! So we decided to go eat yogurtland. =) yumm. Long talks about everything and the rate game could never be as fun than with you. hah! Then shared some of crazy stories and almost killed a girl with a hockey puck. Taken is the most intense movie i have ever seen and makes me think twice before visiting europe ever. And it went from yes to nevermind to no to maybe to yes to oh gosh i haven't a clue anymore! Wow so much can change in just two days.